Demoralize

Aku sangat down tika ini.

Down giler.

Down sampai aku rasa aku kecik sangat.

Down sampai aku rasa aku bodoh sangat.

Down sampai aku rasa aku tak layak duduk dgn seme orang.

Down sampai aku rasa aku ibu yang paling teruk.

Down sampai aku rasa tak layak jadi isteri untuk suami aku.

Down untuk buat apa sahaja.

Down untuk cakap apa sahaja.

Down sampai rasa serba serbi tak kena.

Down! Down! Down!

 

Kala ini aku rasa kalau dekat dengan orang..

Tak kira suami, anak atau rakan-rakan..

Aku akan musnahkan harapan dan perancangan mereka.

Seriously!

Help me!!!!

 

Aku rasa terlalu rendah diri.

I cannot help myself anymore.

The worst is, i cant even cry.

What should i do to release all this uneasy feelings.

Help me, please.....

 

 

I went to the bookstore yesterday.

Actually, just a stop by before doing something else planned earlier.

and suddenly, i do think i need a self help reference.

I found one book, and i hope this could help as a beginning.

 

Confidence by Dr Rob Yeung

 

It's quite some time since i last read this kind of book.

I did read between those time, but just a novel.

Tonnes of them lately.

It's entertaining, but it doesnt help in improving my motivation.

So hopefully i can finish up this book within the short period.

Not only finish reading,
but also get something to boost up the motivation,

self esteem, self belief or on other words
my CONFIDENCE towards me, myself. 

 

Footnote : Babbling here is actually one way which i found can reduce a bit my stress.
But, knowing myself, i dont know how long it'll remain.