Wednesday, October 28, 2009

KEMURUNGANKU

Setiap pagi bila aku bangun and bersiap nk pegi keje, dalam kepala aku mesti ada some idea nak update blog, since aku macam dah janji ngan diri aku sendiri untuk update blog selalu.... Tapi bila sampai jer kat opis, seme idea aku ntah terbang kemana. Nak update aper pun tak tahu, nk tulis tajuk pun tak reti dah rasanya...

So normally aku akan start doing something else, baca paper, start buat keje lu n othez that i think i should do n in mood in doing it. And it'll end up wiv nothing of update for this blog...

So today, sambil2 aku buka jer new post window ni, aku tengok desperate housewife lu n pikir-pikir aper aku blh buat. And now i think i've something in mind... Nothing important, it just something nice to dig and read when i'm old... ;)

Sekarang ni aku rasa aku tengah mengalami saat paling teruk lam kerjaya aku.. Aku sekarang tengah sanngat tensen ngan kerja aku. Aku tak tahu halatuju kerja aku, aku tak paham apa aku perlu buat. Aku hilang interest untuk buat... Dan aper yang lebih teruk ada la aku tahu seme tu, tapi aku tak boleh buat aper2 pasal tu, aku hanya datang opis buang masa... I'm thinking of resigning from my job now, but as my husband said, it's a waste... Satu kerugian kalau aku berhenti. Kalau aku nk berhenti pun at least wait untill i'm 40. And at the same time, he will figure out sometihng for me to work wiv when i'm not working with this big organization anymore. Actually, he did give me a few option but i'm still screening it...

As for me, its ok for me to be a fulltime housewife.. Why? Bcos i love raising my child on my own.. I love cooking for my husband and my family, i love doing chores myself... I love to decorate my house... But when i look back, my husband is right, i'll feel boring with doing just that in a few months. I'm an aggresive type. I cant just sit at home n doing all that. I've to go out sometimes. Earn my own money...


So, i dont know till when i've to face all this thing. I felt useless again, as my first few months working here. I've done nothing to this company... It's a waste to have me, i think... I love being busy and its okay to be overloading. With that you know you are really entitled to get your monthly salary.. Its better to be underpaid than overpaid n doing notihng at works. As per my dictionary, it'll spell LOSER.

Oh YA ALLAH, help me... I'm stuck, and i hate being stucked like this.. I dont have courage to come to office... I know.. I've to be positive, but... I'm tired of being positive... YA ALLAH, aku lah antara makhluk MU yang tak reti bersyukur diatas segala nikmatMU....

YA ALLAH, AKU MOHON KAU PERMUDAHKAN LAH SEGALANYA UNTUK KU... KAU TUNJUKKAN LAH KU JALAN, DAN PIMPINLAH AKU KEJALAN YANG ENGKAU REDHAI... RAHMATI DAN BERKATILAH AKU YA ALLAH..




Thursday, October 22, 2009

Percubaan

I'm trying to update this blog everyday... My intention actually to build up my writing skill but it seems quite difficult to maintain it. But i'm trying... ;).

My husband and I had a few discussion before regarding this but i'm not taking it seriously till recently my husband keep repeating it almost everyday. Changing my car... And the latest we discussed, he did give me a few choices of car to be selected as per my interest (refer to his interest actually because he know what is my dream car is...). So the list was a CR-V, Estima, Alphard, Accord and Camry....

And my arguments is... I like HONDA... And my dream car is CIVIC... I like it very much, i think since years back, or should i say when i know to like a car and the car must be honda civic although that time the civic model was not as beautiful as now. Back to my arguments, so last nite i've decided to google all the car in the list to make a comparison and to make sure i did a correct decision. Actually i dont prefer camry and accord, too big and too expensive i think.. And i dont really like the design itself.. Estima and Alphard is a MPV, and i dont think we need a MPV yet... Its too big... Hehehehehe... So, i'm going for CRV.. But that just a ladies comparison thing, which is, beautiful, expensive all others that make sense to me as a woman and definitely doesnt make sense to my husband. Confirm.. Hehehehehe...

So as now, i'm googling the information, actually a specification for each of the car. My reason of choosing the car must be technical because other than that my husband will again reject my suggestion. Autokratik la my husband... Hahahahahaha.. No la, he always do a correct decision for me, it just that i nk ngader2....

So, i'm googling, googling and gooling.... With hope that i'm doing a right decision... Insyaallah...

Cantik tak? Hehehehe... Aku suka....


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Kenyang + Diet


Konpius... Aku sedang kekenyangan sedangkan aku sedang diet.... Hehehehehehe..


Sebenarnya aku tidak diet, tetapi rakan2 sekelilingku sibuk berdiet. Jadi aku terasa ingin bersama-sama mereka diet. Aku risau giler kalau-kalau berat badan aku naik.. Aku sayangkan suamiku... Aku nk menten kurus pun sebab aku nk suami aku tengok aku sentiasa cantik...

Sememangnya dulu aku ingin sentiasa cantik, sentiasa menawan tetapi bila dah kawen ni aku rasa aku juga ingin cantik, tp kalau blh aku ingin lagi cantik dari dulu kerana aku nk suami aku sentiasa tgk aku cantik. Org lain lantak la nk kater aper, yg ptg suamiku suka pandang aku senang hatinya....

Jadi sekarang, aku bertekad untuk berdiet supaya aku kekal cantik untuk suamiku... Aku juga seharusnya buat facial (bulan ni belum buat lagi) untuk cantik kan muka ku untuk suamiku, aku juga ingin potong rambut supaya mukaku kelihatan berbeza dari sebelumnya.

Kesimpulan yang aku nk buat adalah aku nk cantik tetapi untuk suamiku sahaja.... Which is pada aku sangat susah kerana dia seorg yang sgt cerewet.... Tp aku harap dia nampak aku sentiasa cantik dimatanya ;)....

Abg, syg cantik tak?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Moody....

I'm in the mood today. I dun know why... but its good. A lot to do actually... nothing achieve yet, even now 2 months left for 2009. Its a tough task to settle, but i've to. If not then, it'll effect my performance. Arghhhhhhh... Pressure... Tension....

But as my fren said, "it's good to work under pressure." or could i say that my fren is actually try to take it as a positive way... Forget it!! Yup, there should be a pressure... But its not approriate to called it a "pressure" anymore within this 2 months time... It's become a burden! Or i am too pesimis, too negative... Is it my mistake? I've done alot i think and..... i've wasted my time alot too...
Hahahahahaha.. Nobody perfect right...

Actually, i just feel unfair. How the past person incharge do their work? Non of the planning is done by the time i come back from my long leave.... Actually done is to high to achieve, by nothing is started. I've to start everything. And at that time, i mean at the beginning i'm doing this task, i'm very passionate on doing it... But unfortunately, everybody are very unsupportive or should i say everybody are very busy or should i say are very busy acting. Acting as they are very busy doing alot of things... Oh noooo!!!!!! And now after all thus thing happen, i've no more courage to do it. So, i just wasted my time.. lalalalalala... lalalalalalala....

And after lalalalalalalla lalalalalalala lalalalalala.. 2 months left. How cruel the time is???? What can i do in two months? Its a R&D works.. Impossible! But is it possible for me? Or actually i've no choice which is to make it possible. Tough right? So agree wiv me or not, It's a burden!!!!! Am i to negative? Or it is a reality that i've to accept and then change it.. twist it into a superb performance, take it as a challenged.. Become the worker of the year???? Huhhhhh..

Stop again.. got meeting to attend... Another list of activity which using alot of time and sometimes doesnt give any output...

Its another day... Yesterday after meeting, my mood is again go swing. Nenonenoneno... Hehehehe.. And today, i definitely in mood on doing my things. So, i think it's enuf for now.. To be continued later...