Wednesday, October 28, 2009

KEMURUNGANKU

Setiap pagi bila aku bangun and bersiap nk pegi keje, dalam kepala aku mesti ada some idea nak update blog, since aku macam dah janji ngan diri aku sendiri untuk update blog selalu.... Tapi bila sampai jer kat opis, seme idea aku ntah terbang kemana. Nak update aper pun tak tahu, nk tulis tajuk pun tak reti dah rasanya...

So normally aku akan start doing something else, baca paper, start buat keje lu n othez that i think i should do n in mood in doing it. And it'll end up wiv nothing of update for this blog...

So today, sambil2 aku buka jer new post window ni, aku tengok desperate housewife lu n pikir-pikir aper aku blh buat. And now i think i've something in mind... Nothing important, it just something nice to dig and read when i'm old... ;)

Sekarang ni aku rasa aku tengah mengalami saat paling teruk lam kerjaya aku.. Aku sekarang tengah sanngat tensen ngan kerja aku. Aku tak tahu halatuju kerja aku, aku tak paham apa aku perlu buat. Aku hilang interest untuk buat... Dan aper yang lebih teruk ada la aku tahu seme tu, tapi aku tak boleh buat aper2 pasal tu, aku hanya datang opis buang masa... I'm thinking of resigning from my job now, but as my husband said, it's a waste... Satu kerugian kalau aku berhenti. Kalau aku nk berhenti pun at least wait untill i'm 40. And at the same time, he will figure out sometihng for me to work wiv when i'm not working with this big organization anymore. Actually, he did give me a few option but i'm still screening it...

As for me, its ok for me to be a fulltime housewife.. Why? Bcos i love raising my child on my own.. I love cooking for my husband and my family, i love doing chores myself... I love to decorate my house... But when i look back, my husband is right, i'll feel boring with doing just that in a few months. I'm an aggresive type. I cant just sit at home n doing all that. I've to go out sometimes. Earn my own money...


So, i dont know till when i've to face all this thing. I felt useless again, as my first few months working here. I've done nothing to this company... It's a waste to have me, i think... I love being busy and its okay to be overloading. With that you know you are really entitled to get your monthly salary.. Its better to be underpaid than overpaid n doing notihng at works. As per my dictionary, it'll spell LOSER.

Oh YA ALLAH, help me... I'm stuck, and i hate being stucked like this.. I dont have courage to come to office... I know.. I've to be positive, but... I'm tired of being positive... YA ALLAH, aku lah antara makhluk MU yang tak reti bersyukur diatas segala nikmatMU....

YA ALLAH, AKU MOHON KAU PERMUDAHKAN LAH SEGALANYA UNTUK KU... KAU TUNJUKKAN LAH KU JALAN, DAN PIMPINLAH AKU KEJALAN YANG ENGKAU REDHAI... RAHMATI DAN BERKATILAH AKU YA ALLAH..




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