Bukan Senang Nk Jadi Ummi

Menjadi seorang ibu bukanlah semudah yang disangka.

tidak juga semudah jawapan kita kepada ibu :

"ok, la mak"

"nanti la ummi"

"takper mama, i know how to take care of myself".

It was far away from that. 

As a mom, we'r definitely not comfort by all those word.

Kebimbangan ibu lebih dari segala-gala yang seorang anak blh fikirkan.

Naluri keibuan, some would say.

But as for me, i'll do whatever to comfort myself.

Apa2 sahaja.

Why do i suddenly raise this matter...

Just wanna share something wiv u all..

________________________________

Malam ahad yang lepas faris hampir terjatuh dari sofa.

Kenapa hampir?

Sebab chentaku sempat selamatkan dia dgn memegang sebelah kakinya.

So tak jatuh la.

So, i feel relieved, because he doesnt cry and
i immediately breast feed him after that.

Just to calm him down.

Tapi...

Dah siap nyusu ai lepaskan dia bermain dengan abangnya.

U all know what?

Dia jalan terdengkit2 dengan machonya.

No cry.

Siap gelak2.

Tapi mak dia.

No smile.

Jantung degup2 kencang.

He even walk by holding up to the wall.

Still laughing to the jokes made by his brother.

Huhhhhhhh!!!!

Pressure!!!

Chenta trs amik dia bawa naik atas.

terus urut kakinya.

tak sangka bapanya pun risau.

Settle urut, siap main spinning around sambil duduk.

Terus ai nangis.

Dia tau dia sakit, tp nk main gak.

So pusing2 sambil duduk pun jadi la.

Sambil gelak lagi.

I yang over, terus decide amik cuti esoknya.

Nk monitor macam maner kaki dia.

Walau kata chenta xder aper2.

As i said earlier, no words can comfort me.

So semalam, seharian nampak ok.

jam 4.30 tido. Jam 6.00 ptg bangn.

Terdengkit2 lagi.

Adoiiiiii...

Terus decide, esok jumpa ped.

Mesti.

No more monitoring.

Immediate action is needed!!

Overr kannn???

So, today i jumpa ped.

Our regular pediatrician, Dr. Hew.

Klinik belum buka, ai dah tercanguk depan hosp.

Dr. Hew ni kalau terlambat sket, nescaya waiting list panjang berjela.

Ai malas, lagi pun hari ni, memang tak boleh cuti,
kena juga ke ofis.

no excuse.
cannot be too late.

Jumpa Dr. Hew, he check the whole body, he explained what he's doing.

Talk to faris, play with him, make him walk inside his room.

Then he said "Faris is ok, no worries mummy".. with smile.

Huhh, ai lega.

No more questioned.

Worries? still ada. Tapi at least i got an opinion from the specialist.

Kan, saya kata jadi seorang ibu tak semudah yang disangka.

Tak juga mudah nk di"comfort"...

Remehkan??

Takder aper masih nk jumpa doktor.

Kalut kan?

Whatever others can say.

As much as i feel relieved, i'll do whatever it takes!!!

Nota kaki entri ini :

Ai nk anta fatih ke sekolah.

Tapi ayahnya really concern pasal nk anta n nk amik anak manjanya dari sekolah.

Dah chentaku risau, ai lagi la seploh kali risau.

rasa macam x nak hantar di ke sekolah.

and i told my sister.

U all know what she replied to me :-

"Can u imagine who are u now if our mom thought just the same way u r thinking right now?"